The Vortex - Double Coronary Bypass

I like burgers. A whole lot. They're probably my favorite food and I'm fortunate to live in Atlanta - the home to many variations of the classic meatwich. Some are pretty meager while others are massive and a daunting task to finish. I can usually make short work of most of the larger burgers in the city including Ann's Bacon Double Cheeseburger (definitely shrunk the last time I had it), and well...what's the point of trying to think of a burger bigger than that.

Originally, the Vortex had the Coronary Bypass. It was essentially a substantial half pound bacon cheeseburger topped with a fried egg. It never even made a blip on my radar. It just didn't seem that impressive or appetizing. But one day (and this was already a while ago) while briefly skimming the menu, I saw it: The Double Coronary Bypass.

From Vortex's menu:
Topped with two fried eggs, four slices of American cheese, and 5 slices of bacon, with two grilled cheese sandwiches replacing the buns.

It sounded like a wonderfully cardiac-arrest inducing, but filling burger and for this reason I never even tried it and usually opted for the Cowboy or Bacon Cheeseburger. However, Xerxes convinced me that I was missing out and urged that I give it a try. Much like Ann's Snack Bar's much lauded burgers, I killed that burger.

"Yo, straight up TFA killed that shit tonight for real!"

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Missy!"

I hate runny eggs, and after an episode at Flip Burger Boutique, I asked the waitress to have my egg well done. Unfortunately, I think she mistook me and had my burger cooked well done. It was a dry mess. Honestly the temperature of the sandwich ruined it for me but the promise of ingredients this good and a medium-rare patty will keep me coming back. The grilled cheese buns are the icing on this already, decadent cake. I thought it would be too much cheese, but I think the eggs divided it up nicely. Frankly, the eggs didn't bring much to the flavor party and only assisted in cheese division and making the burger even larger. The burger is damned hard to pick up and was a chore the whole way through (I didn't complain too much).

Aside from the doneness problem, my tater tots were terrible and stale. This is very baffling problem because out of the many, many times I've been to the Vortex, the tots are always so hot and fresh. But not this go-round. I will go back and give them another chance on the Double Coronary but Vortex does have some consistency issues with cooking burgers medium rare.

I was very pleanantly surprised with Kins' order. She got the fish and chips and I would most certainly rate them one of the best in the city. Aside from not being fishy at all, you get a heaping portion of four pieces for about eight bucks.

I (and my heart) will give Vtex another shot on the Double Coronary. The grilled cheese buns are just too good to ignore. If it's no good next time I'll walk out backwards saying,

"Its all kizza

Its always like

Na zound

Wa zee

Wa zoom zoom zee"